Not "fail" as in "I failed the challenge", in fact, unfortunately to the every-man's understanding of basic decency and taste, I am in fact up to date. Insult to injury, not only did I successfully produce so far twelve (cheating-tier tiny) pages of abominations, (commonly referred to as "art" on this page, but never let yourself be fooled) they suck even more than my usual stuff, and that's saying something, if I say so myself.

So, prepare for the worst. Brace yourself (although let's be honest: some forms of trauma can't be avoided even by the most careful and prepared either) for "art" done in ten entire minutes, prepare for a galore of mistakes even the "artist" knew and understood as they committed them and didn't give a damn, really just... prepare. Because it's going doooown fast.

On a more serious note, I suffer from the most widespread disease artists usually suffer from and struggle to keep at bay. It's the one and only setback you hear about every day from any artist of any medium and that is the one and only 

perfectionism.

(the crowd lets out a loud gasp!, a few children start to cry in the back rows, some people flat out leave in protest upon hearing the dreaded word)

(if you guessed "drawing hands" you still kinda get a point tho)

No, but seriously: it's a real thing. As of late, it dawned on me just how much it has really crippled me: it prevented me from creating pretty much anything at all. When a singular piece takes you months to finish, you know you have a problem.

So, with Inktober as an opportunity, I decided that I will make deliberately rushed drawings that I genuinely hate, and force myself to treat them as if they would be perfect; in fact, I'll ink and colour them too, as if! While my main medium is digital, I understand most of you snobby brats frown upon anything non-traditional during Inktober, so I did pencil + marker drawings. So, that is that.

This is really what this challenge is about for me this year (as I plan to participate again next year as well).

I need to get over my obsession over mistakes and the unshakeable and compelling need to start studying up entirely new things to draw from scratch; in fact I just need to get over myself, so my art can actually advance and I can actually finish pieces and go back to studying anatomy, perspective and so on. Like any normal person does. I need to start to learn to let go, and I need to learn how to just finish something. It's high time I do that.

I'm not even exaggerating when I say I let entire years worth of creation and practice flew me by because of my unhealthy fixation on mistakes and starting all over again because "it's ruined and hopeless, I need to tart this anew".

So, Finishtober presents:

(All pics are washed out and lost 99% of their colour vibrancy because my phone decided today was just the right day to be a jerk)

Day 1 (The first three drawings were all created on the 8th, as I was a bit late to the party):

Mr Pumpkin is unaware that Mr Spidey is creeping up behind him to eventually land on his back and give him a good ol' Halloween scare. I guess.

Day 2 (technically still day 1)

If you look close enough, you might notice that there is an entire disgusting self insert attached to those two atrocious hands. I know, it's difficult to spot considering... And hey, on the bright side, there is also a snitch!

Day 3 (still the 8th and day 1 actually, no one cares, I know)

Judge me as you might, I sorta kinda lowkey like it..

Day 4 (it's the 9th now, yay)

This has got to be the single, worst drawing I ever created, ever. Worse than whatever I was scribbling as a toddler with my non-dominant hand with a piece of chalk or anything. This. Takes. The. Cake. Would I ever make something even wortse, you guys should show some mercy and kill me, so I can't sink any lower. 

Day 5 (still the 9th)

I mean, at least I practiced hands, right? 

Day 6 (9th)

Hand practice intensifeyed. Eye see nothing else worth pointing eyet.

Day 7. (9th still, for "shy" prompt)

Somewhat inspired by Casper, but the ghost miraculously inherited the magnificent jawline of John Lennon through the mortal device of my unsteady hand that accidentally over drew that line by a huuuge margin... It was meant to be, I'm just too basic to comprehend the will of pure fate. Also, Omen can't draw baseball hats. Or hands, for that matter, but that's not news 

Day 8 (9th for "crooked" prompt)

To ease up after all this emotional roller coaster of having to look at my worst drawings ever, I decided to get back into my comfort zone for a minute and draw something I am confident in. Then, with an overwhelming feeling of sheer terror, I realised I have no such thing, so I just drew Snape instead. I tried some pretentious arty-fartsy bullshit colour game too: in Harry Potter the green+purple colour combo is a sign of magic (wizards would wear this combo in muggle areas to signal to other wizards their presence without much drama), where green means evil and purple means good magic. And also how daddeh Snape is such a dual character so it fits. I guess. Also, his nose is crooked. He was a little bit crooked too. Ehhhh. 

Day 9 (the 10th, "screech" prompt)

This sad creature is actually a screech owl. It is named as such, because since I drew the poor things, the world hasn't been the same. I apologise Mr owl.

Day 10 (in which I finally catch up to everyone else, hey guys ho-- where did everybody go?) ("gigantic" prompt)

Just because I'm still over the moon that I got a badge on dA for drawing this dusty old meme that I only learned about 178667 years late. Whatever. Biting pear of salamanca.

Day 11. 

With such a heavy load of disgusting self-pity you'd think I regressed back to being my old emo teenage self. Truth is, you'd be right thinking that.

Day 12. (todaaaaaaaaaay)

I SWEAR this looked sorta normal as a sketch.

...

But then I went ahead with everything else.

 

 

So, that's it so far! After you're back from your psychologist appointment you had to urgently attend to after looking at these and developing PTSD in an instant, I actually recommend you give a try to this challenge! It can be therapeutic. Or helpful. Or it can make you feel accomplished. Or for practice. I don't know! 

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So, I've been active lately in terms of practicing and drawing, altough most of it is trash, of course. Regardless, I sort of want to leave a mark on here that I was actually trying to get better at drawing, so here are a few things I've done ~

The pics were made using my lame, dying phone, so sorry about the potato quality. Evereything gets bigger when clicked ~

So, my usual doodles while listening to Scare Theater lol

In which one can learn that I was cold when drawing, and I find the word "screech" creepy (I wasn't planning on uploading this page originally lol). I now just realize there is some portion of the page that still didn't make it into the pictures

One of those doodles made it into my very first ever sketchbook, and is currently horrible and I want to tear that page out, but first, my very first finished page in mentioned sketchbook (which is this tiny, pocket sized, low quality thingy we got for free when purchasing Túró Rudi lol)

Is good old Dylan Klebold (I am NOT a columbiner).

I thought I want to make a mark of this era of my life when I am interested and actively reading about the massacre. Highlight of the day is that HORRID GREEN FINGERPRINT I accidentally left on it... So, the background is just a bunch of gibberish lyrics from pumped up kicks and Vast's Beautiful (as I listen to those two a lot - I don't relate "Beautiful" to Dylan, but to my own era). I used a fountain pen to achieve that transition thing, by changing the ink in it, altough it doesn't show up on this poor quality picture, but from top to bottom it changes from blue to green. Funny thing is, I have no idea how the green ink ended up on my left ringfinger: I double checked it when I was making the background to avoid smugdes. It's a mystery...

And the random eric on a cloud for no reason at all (no, I don't think he's an angel if anything lol)

it's so bad I wanna tear it out lol

But hey, look, here's a good song:

 

Echo Image: Need to be Proud

Falling like grey leaves do
She felt the walls tumbling over her soul
Tonight
She has no words to say
She felt the presence of another black day
Tonight

Need to be proud of what you are
But you're flying by
Hope you won't try those things again
But your words are flying high

Trying to figure out
Why things went wrong
Why she has nothing left
To do
She wants to see the light
But shadows drags her
To another black place
Somehow

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well, at least it's practice... right? 

this is something trashy hp related

non romantic

 

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Elképzelésem sincs mit akarok ezzel, de kezeket akartam rajzolni (mert vacak vagyok belőlük, muszáj), meg erdőket, mivel épp egy dokut hallgatok a rejtélyes eltűnésekről nemzeti parkokban világszerte, és van egy dal (a warm place egy remixe) amitől folyamatosan erdőket látok magam előtt. Ehelyett valami ilyen jön ki a kezem alól 

klikkre nagyobb, de mint látszik rajtam kívül senkinek nem éri meg jobban megnézni 

Mit szólsz hozzá?

Mit szólsz hozzá?